I’M A WOMAN, DIVORCED AFTER 7 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
Given my experience, there are some key concepts I learned in my journey as well. We women have equal responsibility in making a marriage work. For all the points mentioned for husbands, there are perhaps also some for wives I would like to share.
1. Always seek out the best in him. Dwell on those things, not what you don’t like about him.
2. Have sex with him. Often. All the time if need be.
i. Best advice received from an older woman on the eve of my wedding 12 years ago: Make love a lot, especially when you don’t feel like it. Making love is a balm, it covers and heals a lot of the wounds we inflict on one another in a marriage. When you feel like you just aren’t close to your spouse, that’s the time to take off your clothes and get close. Boy-oh-boy, was Janice right!
3. Seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re emotional. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t as good as counsel from elderly women.
4. Let him zone out. He is not ignoring you, men just have moments of brain freeze.
5. It’s not your job to change or fix him. We are all on a journey.
6. Tell him how big/strong/smart/manly he is all the time. They tend to forget.
7. Never forget or take for granted that your man chose you.
8. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they aren’t funny.
9. We are responsible for our reactions, no one else. We must take full accountability of our emotions and how we respond. And so must he.
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